10/15/2009 – Chai Cafe Magazine

Dear Komal
Dear Komal (birth name), When I think about my own history of abuse and my path to healing, I realize that grief comes up. I grieve for the lost innocent child who was astonished and shocked to be slapped out of the blue, for no logical reason. With each unfair transgression to the child I […]
Triggers and handling them
Psych Central describes triggers as: “A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.” Wikipedia defines a trauma trigger as: “A trauma trigger is an experience that causes someone to recall a previous traumatic memory, although the trigger itself need not […]
Amazing Turmeric
The common Indian spice turmeric has been coming up a lot in various news stories and studies Awareness of its benefits seem to be growing everyday. I am being prompted to cook more and more Indian food which normally includes turmeric. http://wakeup-world.com/2014/11/01/turmeric-extract-improves-brain-function-in-one-dose/
Asian American doll?
I recently saw a commercial parody on SNL that highlighted some of my issues with the term and label “Asian.” It’s such a catch-all term that just seems to indicate how lazy the Western world can be in learning the actual country someone is from, so they choose a big continent as label instead. Take […]
Book Review: Threading the Needle by Marie Bostwick
In Threading the Needle, Marie Bostwick discusses friendship lost and then found. She explores the ways we create the experiences of our past and future, along with the impact of relationships with family and friends. Bostwick uses as the background of her story the recent economic downturn in the US. One character becomes the wife […]
Share your story
Share your story of reconciling your bi-cultural heritage and seeking authenticity, anonymously. Email it to priamba6@gmail.com. You may find that sharing is cathartic and healing. You may also find support and connection. I will make certain that there is nothing to identify you (unless you state otherwise).
Mothering and Motherhood
We all grow up with a certain sense of how we perceive the mothering we receive and the role of motherhood in our lives- whether as mothers ourselves or as children in need of mothering. This role evolves throughout our lives – whether it is about our changing how we parent while keeping in mind […]
Summer Vacation to India?
For many South Asians, summers have meant a trip back home, especially while growing up in the states. Our parents wanted to make sure we were getting a good dose of our heritage to balance out all the Western exposure and values we were subject to the rest of our time. For most of us, […]
Being “ABCD” and Authenticity
When we are “American Born Confused Desis” or even become “American Born Confident Desis,” how do we reconcile past cultural expectations of us with our quest to be our own empowered authentic women? Do expectations of our upbringing fit with our quest to be true to ourselves or do we have to make adjustments? If so, what are they?
Individualism
One of the key differences I’ve observed and experienced as differences between the culture of my heritage and that which I’ve grown up in is the level of focus on individualism. Much in the Western and particularly American culture is based on the value and importance of the individual.

It Takes a Village

Simplicity Comments Off

Oct 152009

Village Life I recall fond memories of my time in India as a young child. I thought I had everything. At the age of seven, my whole life seemed ahead of me. I loved my life and felt on top of the world. I had a group of friends I enjoyed and it seemed life brought so many fascinating moments and adventures daily. I have images of simple pleasures such as playing in the local village sports during the day and staying up late with friends telling stories around a fire before wandering home. I could come and go as I pleased, often coming home around midnight to sleep under the stars in the courtyard or on the roof.

No one locked their doors in this Rajasthani village and everyone was part of an extended family in a sense. I felt safe and everyone either felt like a family member or I was actually related to them. It seemed to be the actual life behind the term “it takes a village.”

I remember a beautiful image of the homes from our rooftop on Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights in the Fall. All the houses were covered by deepaks, little clay “lamps” filled with clarified butter and cotton made into a wick placed in the middle. It was just the dark night sky and the twinkling lights on rooftops under the stars on a very quiet night. There was a feeling of total serenity.