11/19/2009 – Chai Cafe Magazine

Dear Komal
Dear Komal (birth name), When I think about my own history of abuse and my path to healing, I realize that grief comes up. I grieve for the lost innocent child who was astonished and shocked to be slapped out of the blue, for no logical reason. With each unfair transgression to the child I […]
Triggers and handling them
Psych Central describes triggers as: “A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.” Wikipedia defines a trauma trigger as: “A trauma trigger is an experience that causes someone to recall a previous traumatic memory, although the trigger itself need not […]
Amazing Turmeric
The common Indian spice turmeric has been coming up a lot in various news stories and studies Awareness of its benefits seem to be growing everyday. I am being prompted to cook more and more Indian food which normally includes turmeric. http://wakeup-world.com/2014/11/01/turmeric-extract-improves-brain-function-in-one-dose/
Asian American doll?
I recently saw a commercial parody on SNL that highlighted some of my issues with the term and label “Asian.” It’s such a catch-all term that just seems to indicate how lazy the Western world can be in learning the actual country someone is from, so they choose a big continent as label instead. Take […]
Book Review: Threading the Needle by Marie Bostwick
In Threading the Needle, Marie Bostwick discusses friendship lost and then found. She explores the ways we create the experiences of our past and future, along with the impact of relationships with family and friends. Bostwick uses as the background of her story the recent economic downturn in the US. One character becomes the wife […]
Share your story
Share your story of reconciling your bi-cultural heritage and seeking authenticity, anonymously. Email it to priamba6@gmail.com. You may find that sharing is cathartic and healing. You may also find support and connection. I will make certain that there is nothing to identify you (unless you state otherwise).
Mothering and Motherhood
We all grow up with a certain sense of how we perceive the mothering we receive and the role of motherhood in our lives- whether as mothers ourselves or as children in need of mothering. This role evolves throughout our lives – whether it is about our changing how we parent while keeping in mind […]
Summer Vacation to India?
For many South Asians, summers have meant a trip back home, especially while growing up in the states. Our parents wanted to make sure we were getting a good dose of our heritage to balance out all the Western exposure and values we were subject to the rest of our time. For most of us, […]
Being “ABCD” and Authenticity
When we are “American Born Confused Desis” or even become “American Born Confident Desis,” how do we reconcile past cultural expectations of us with our quest to be our own empowered authentic women? Do expectations of our upbringing fit with our quest to be true to ourselves or do we have to make adjustments? If so, what are they?
Individualism
One of the key differences I’ve observed and experienced as differences between the culture of my heritage and that which I’ve grown up in is the level of focus on individualism. Much in the Western and particularly American culture is based on the value and importance of the individual.

Formative Years

Adaptation, Transition Comments Off

Nov 192009

Being South Asian in the South is an intriguing concept. This is is
We moved to Charlotte, NC around ’83 when I entered the eighth grade in Jr. High School, when I was about 12. I experienced my formative years there felt that I was setting some roots.

I was busy as a babysitter at 12 and then started selling Avon at 13, becoming one of the top 20 sellers in my area. My customers wanted to know how I looked so young and bought products from me to look as young. This successful experience instilled a permanent sense of being an entrepreneur in my psyche.

One of the women I babysat for in the neighborhood was a nurse and writer for a parenting magazine. She told me that if you want to be a writer, become an expert in something else, so you can write about that. I kept that in mind and my fascination with being a writer settled somewhere in my mind. It turned out that the topic I most wanted to write about was life, feeling I had lived enough to have many thoughts and questions. I seemed to always have an essay going on in my head. Was everyone else like this? Did everyone else analyze and question life as I did? At 12, I had a health exam while on a trip to India. The female doctor only stated to my mom, “she thinks too much.”

As a preteen, I won an essay contest, further encouraging my interest and confidence in writing. English had become easier and easier and I found comfort and release in expressing myself through writing. I continued to have an essay brewing in my head. When speaking with friends, the conversation seemed to always veer towards the topic of life. So much so that when there was a game of charades, one of my peers pretended to call someone and started talking about life. Everyone immediately knew it was me who was being impersonated.