Psych Central describes triggers as: “A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.” Wikipedia defines a trauma trigger as: “A trauma trigger is an experience that causes someone to recall a previous traumatic memory, although the trigger itself need not be frightening or traumatic.”
We all have daily “triggers” that challenge us to evolve and grow. Triggers take us out of our comfort zone and require us to figure out how to get somewhere comfortable for us. Parenting can be loaded with them. For example, there is nothing that sends me into a tail spin as much as the approval or disapproval from my six year-old daughter. My continuous self-evaluation as a mom seems to impact my daily mood and sense of self-worth.
Parenting is also filled with change. We are having to learn and parent an ever-changing human being. Change asks us to let go and we are not good at letting go. We’re good at holding on…to whatever we know and can maybe influence, impact…control? We don’t know how to operate in new situations we don’t have experience with, and can feel imbalanced as a result.
Just when you think you’ve got your act together…something trips you up and you’re off that hard-won center. Rather than kick yourself for getting off center, the more challenging choice can be to get yourself back there…Maybe the challenge of trying to get back to center will train us to not fall off center as easily next time.
Questions to ask to build a more solid center can be: “How do I feel more solid? Do I need to meditate or meditate more? More time to be still? In nature? Do I need more sleep, more “me” time, more breaks, less demands, better nutrition or more exercise?”
Stop beating yourself up and start helping and taking care of yourself instead.